Care Partner’s Connection

The goal of Caregiver’s/Care Partner’s Corner is to help those who are spouses, family members, caregiver’s/care partners to someone with Multiple Sclerosis and hopefully provide helpful information to everyone on what it is like to live or know someone with MS.

In addition, we hope that in the future we will be able to provide a list of resources that the Care Partner can connect with for additional support.

When a Care Partner attends a meeting/patient program, we encourage them to get involved and not be afraid to talk to other Care Partner’s about their experiences and also ask questions of the medical professionals and patient advocates to help them gain a better understanding of MS.

We encourage caregivers and care partners to be an active part of this section of the website by submitting your ideas, suggestions on how to improve this section of the website and submit articles on being a spouse caregiver or care partner.

Thank you.

Five Simple Words

My husband was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis over twenty years ago.  This definitely changed our lives; over time we have developed the unanticipated but full and happy lives we lead today.

It often seems as if friends look at my husband and see only the trouble he has walking as his MS.  However, like many people, his MS is much more than that, with fatigue and cognitive effects also figuring into everything in daily life.  Of course, the frustration he experiences with needing others to do what he used to do himself also figures into the mix. The joint weed whacking experience described below illustrates how these factors interact to make basic tasks more difficult for both the care partners.

I planned to weed whack on a cooler day so my husband could help me. He understands machines of any sort much better than me.  He made sure the outside outlet was live while I found the weed whacker and the extension cords which he said were “in the shed”.  I waited while he tied the cords together then began carrying the weed whacker and heading out between the shed and house towards the back door.  He told me to go a different way because there was a hose in that area. So I went around behind the shed. This was the first time I had used the weed whacker this year and knew there was something I needed to do to keep the string from breaking off too short but couldn’t quite remember what. I asked him about this, knowing he would know what I needed to do, before heading out but he did not answer. After weed whacking for a while I asked him again, but he was over by the garden putting cages over the tomato plats and did not want to come over and show me. I was beginning to remember that by tapping the weed whacker on the ground it kept the string slowly coming out and not breaking off so I began doing this occasionally. The string did not break off throughout the weed whacking. Eventually my husband came over and showed me how to tap the weed whacker on the ground.  I asked him why he couldn’t have just told me “tap it on the ground”, “just five simple words” the first two times I had asked him, which would not have required him to come over to the weed whacker.

I believe this example shows how problems with cognition and expressive communication, as well as the frustration of having to depend on others, interact with physical disabilities to make basic tasks carried out by both care partners seem very complicated. Well, the weed whacking is done for now…on to the next task.